10 weeks

I have exactly 10 weeks 3 days til bridesmaid day. I've already ordered my dress but I really don't mind having to pay for some awesome alterations.

I haven't brought up my weightloss journey in the blog yet, though I've been meaning too. Around this time last year I decided that I was tired of being crazy overweight. Time to woman up and slim down! I went to my doctor as I had heard she had a weightloss program. They give me Phentermine(which is awesome) and we talked over some stuff I already knew and away I went. I lost about 25 pounds over the next 3 months. Unfortunately thats when my father in law went into the hospital and it was put to a sudden halt. Hospital food, munchies from the gift shop and lots of snacking went into the next few months. By the time he passed in June I had gained it all back and then some.

August of last year I decided it was time to get back on track. Since I have PCOS weight is a huge factor with my ovulation. When I lost weight I got 2-3 back to back normal cycles but stopped with all the stress and weight gain the summer brought on. So with no cycles there is obviously no chance at fertility. Anywho, I set up an appointment and begin this process all over again. I was frustrated at myself for putting it back on. I weighed in at a rocking 287. That's right, almost 300 pounds. That number is scary, and awful and I hate admitting it. But maybe somebody else who has an awful high number won't feel as bad knowing somebody else is there too. I am 5'11" so at least I hide a lot of my weight well. Over the next few months I struggled with vacations, trips, holidays and etc. Every number I lost didn't feel worthwhile since I had already hit it in the past. Finally, I hit 262. That's the number I had gotten too when father-in-law got sick. Pretty quickly I surpassed it and found myself at 259 and then at 257. And now, the holidays. I made it through Thanksgiving okay, but about 2 weeks before Christmas I kinda gave up.

This brings me to now! I'm about 261 depending on the day and water weight but I'll weigh again tomorrow for my real re-starting point. I'm actually pretty excited to get going again. Today I started the 30 day shred and I feel awful about myself doing it but I know there must be something to it. I couldn't even do the entire video, had to take lots of small breaks. It may take me longer to move from level to level but if I successfully finish this and seriously get to the point where level 3 isn't making me want to die anymore, I'll have accomplished something I've never done before. I'll be more in shape than I've been since high school. I look forward to that day. Hopefully, I can just keep looking up.

Hopefully, in about 30 days I'll be showing you before/after pictures of me. It'll still be hard to show the before but hopefully the after will make that much better. I still won't look perfect, far from, but it's about progress, right?